


calling in the dead of night

by Areiton



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Sad Ending, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 05:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19144795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Areiton/pseuds/Areiton
Summary: The phone ringing pulls him reluctantly to awareness. He fumbles for it, blinking against the glare.“Hello?” he mumbles.“Hey, sweetheart,” Sam says and Bucky smiles.





	calling in the dead of night

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a happy fic. At. All.

The phone ringing pulls him reluctantly to awareness. He fumbles for it, blinking against the glare. 

“Hello?” he mumbles. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Sam says and Bucky smiles. This is why he keeps his phone on, even at ass o’clock in the morning--because when his boyfriend calls in the middle of the night, he doesn’t ever want to miss it. 

“Hey,” he says, sleepily snuggling back into his pillow. “You comin’ home yet?” 

“Soon--’bout wrapped this up. Why, you miss me?” 

Bucky breathes a laugh. “I always miss you when you’re gone.” 

There’s a hitch in Sam’s breathing and then, “Sweet talker.” 

“You like it,” Bucky says, lazily. Sam’s voice is breathy, high. He wonders if he just left the field, if he’s finally on his way home. 

“I love it,” Sam says, and his voice is too honest, raw in a way they aren’t, not often. It makes Bucky blink, his senses sharpen, and he sits up. 

“Tell me about your day,” Sam says, before he can say anything, and it’s teasing. Gentle. 

Bucky looks at the tiny bundle of fur on his pillow, the one Princess is looking at with pure disdain, and says, “I found a kitten.” 

Sam laughs, a big bright belly laugh that tugs an answering smile on Bucky’s lips. “You bring her home?” 

Bucky blushes but he talks, tells Sam about finding the kitten half drowned in an alley on the way home from the coffee shop, about how much Princess hates her. He talks about the banana bread he made and the new chicken recipie he wants to try when Sam gets home, about the book he’s reading and how Steve is being a dick about training, until he’s yawning and Sam is quiet. 

Quieter than he should be. 

“You ok, baby?” he asks, and Sam takes a second to answer. 

“I love you, James,” he says, and something twists in his belly. “I love you and I am so glad you chose to let me be part of the happiness you’ve found.” 

“You’re all of it,” Bucky says, a little bewildered, a little concerned. “You know that, right, baby? That--you’re everything. I love you more than anything, Sam.” 

That earns him a soft huff of laughter. “Go to sleep, baby.” 

“You’ll be home soon?” Bucky asks, shifting to lay down. The kitten curls into his hair and starts purring. 

“Yeah, sweetheart. I’ll be back soon.” 

~*~ 

He kills the connection with shaking fingers. 

The mark is dead--but he thinks, he might be too. His wings are shot, there’s no way in hell he’s flying out of this. Even if he weren’t nursing a gut shot that’s bleeding faster than he can afford. 

Sam closes his eyes. He’s dying. There’s no getting around that. He knew it even before he hit the ground after that goddamn canon blast took out his ings. 

He wasn’t a super solider. He wasn’t enhanced. 

And he wasn’t gonna walk away from this. 

But dying with his boy’s voice, happy and warm in his ear--that’s not so bad. He closes his eyes and sends the distress signal. 

_ Captain America down.  _

He let’s Bucky’s words play in a loop as black gathers along the edges of his vision, until it claims him. 

_ I love you more than anything, Sam _

~*~ 

He’s quiet through the funeral. 

He’d done all his crying, all his screaming and fighting, all of the denial, before the body got back stateside. 

He’s quiet. But he texts Clint, a few days after, when Steve  _ finally _ leaves him alone, for a moment. And then--he slips away. 

~*~ 

Bucky climbs. 

The sky was always Sam’s place--and he never minded. Loved watching him soar above the ground, the one place Buck couldn’t,  _ wouldn’t _ follow him. But now--now he climbs. It’s cold in the mountains, and he’s shivering. 

He can’t remember the last time he slept, the last time he ate. He thinks it was probably before that phone call. 

_ It’s the last thing he did, sir. Before the distress signal went out--he called you.  _

Bucky smiles. He found the cliff years ago, when he was still running and Sam was still chasing him. It was one of those days when he wanted to die-- _ knew _ it would be easier than being Hydra’s tool. 

He didn’t. He stepped away from the cliff edge, because--because Sam would find him, if he did succeed. And even then, he didn’t ever want Sam to be the one who found him, too broken to fix. 

He thinks--now he is already too broken. 

Falling always was going to be what killed him. But as he steps off the cliff, and the icy air rushes up to meet him, he thinks,  _ I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.  _


End file.
